I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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