Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I enjoy the company of your penis
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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