So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize