So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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