so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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