I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
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