She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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