All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
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