wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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