You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize