i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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