brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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