I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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