I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Randomize