Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize