I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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