i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
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Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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