yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
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Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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