Me too!
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
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I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
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Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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