My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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