So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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