Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize