how can u be prego again
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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