I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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