I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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