I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize