Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
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