Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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