I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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