If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I'm passing your future prison.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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