K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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