i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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