What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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