we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize