I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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