I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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