i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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