last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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