Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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