Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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