um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize