Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize