I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize