Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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