I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize