does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize