I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
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i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
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He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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