people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize