ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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