guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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